she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
