apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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