Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
