I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize