hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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