theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
