no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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