You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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