Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
