Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
