Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
