how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
