have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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