the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
