bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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