Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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