i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
