This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
