I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
