actually, I'm a sock model
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
