I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
