I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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