okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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