the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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