after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I want a musical about memes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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