Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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