I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
