i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
