try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
