I have demons in me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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