You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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