party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
