as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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