Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he fucked my hip out of place.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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