No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just invented taco cereal.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
