can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
