we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i will never coherently bang her
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
