spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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