Someone shit on the floor
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize
