he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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