It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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