tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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