By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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