Someone shit on the floor
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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