I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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