im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
