I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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