you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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