I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
