How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
