plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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