i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
