He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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