Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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