i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Sacagawea was the original milf.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
