hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
