I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
