he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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