Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I skipped work to stalk him.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
