Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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