why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
