He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
