one might say we're banned from that church
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
