This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize