She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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