I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
