I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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