I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I need water and some morals
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
