...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
