Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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