Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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