Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
