Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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