I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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