Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
