I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
