And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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